Christian Behavior:  How to deal with COMPLAINING.

Bible Story: Mary & Martha (Luke 10:38-42)

 What we discussed in class:   

     We started off talking about what things make us complain;  who we hear complaining (they all were very eager to admit they complain); and what complaining looked like (whining, pouting, frowning, bad mood, people don’t want to be around you, negative, etc). 

     Then we had a story about Mary & Martha. Martha had a several options when it came to all the work that had to be done; some options that could glorify God and some that could lead to sin.  She could have joined Mary in listening to Jesus, forgotten about Mary and done as much as she could, she could have asked more neighbors for help, she could have asked Jesus for help.  Or she could get angry at Mary, complain, and pout.

     When we feeling like complaining we have a choice to make: we can complain, or we can be content.  We talked about what contentment looked like.  The children played out several situations: the first time we complained about it, the second time we were content about it.  We talked about how contentment doesn’t fix the situation like it never happened, but it lets us be okay with things… from the words of Elle W...“oh! It’s kind of like we might not like what is going on, but we try to be satisfied anyway?” 

     We used the Bible verse in class.  Try to find ways to use it at home this week.   We talked about the millions of stars that we could see, some are really bright, and some not so much.  I let them know that some stars exist that give off no light at all.  If you were a star, which one would you want to be?  Complaining can make your star loose it’s shiny-ness—Not cool!

 For Parents:  When you find yourself complaining this week—or if you’ve already learned self-control over your complaints (not me) then when you think about complaining—let your kiddos know (try to use the situations that are appropriate for them and the ones they might relate to).  Also let them know what you wished would have happened, and how you would have liked to have handled the situation.   This will allow your kids to observe several things:  parents still struggle and its okay, parents are trying to change, these are the things that can make grown-ups complain, and these are the ways grown-ups handle those situations.    For example, you had an icky day at work.  Tell your child about the co-worker that said mean things, tell them what you would have liked to see happen (the co-worker acting with respect), tell them honestly how you reacted , and if you complained tell them how you could have been content.

Tips to bring this lesson home:

 Memory Verse:  “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.” Philippians 2:14-15

       Use the memory verse like you would a ‘rule’ in your home.  If someone complains this week, talk about the memory verse and how we need to shine for God and we can’t do that if we are complaining.

The book Creative Corrections, by Lisa Whelchel, emphasizes that God has rules for His children to follow—grown-ups and kids alike!  Instead of saying “because I said so” to explain your disciplining decision, we should answer with scripture.  Then our children will see that this is not only mom and dad’s rule, it’s God’s rule !

Try to use the scripture above often to let your child know that angry actions are not only against your rules, but it’s also against God’s rules.  Anytime this month that your child gets angry, talk to them about healthy ways to deal with anger, so their hearts can please God.

Star Chart: Make a weekly or monthly chart that says  “I Can Shine for Jesus” at the top.  Any time your child chooses to be content instead of complains put a shiny star sticker on their chart.   This will encourage your child to find contentment in situations rather than complaining first.  Pray that God makes you aware of the situations that normally make your child complain so you can also be aware of their improvement.

Christian Behavior:  How to deal with ANGER.

Bible Story: Cain & Abel (Genesis 4)

What we discussed in class:   Anger is a normal emotional reaction to things that happen.  We talked about what makes us angry, and how anger is not a sin.  Everyone has a choice to make about how they will deal with their anger.   There are good and appropriate ways, and there are destructive and sinful ways.  Cain chose the sinful way.  We discussed the good appropriate alternatives:  stop and pray, go do a different activity, spend some time alone, talk to someone about what you feel, do a crazy dance, tackle a pillow, etc (and we said that these make God smile).   If Cain had done any of those, then – in the words of Kole Clark—“Abel might still be alive today!”   

For Parents:  Ask God to make you aware of the situations in your daily life that make you angry.  Share those moments with your kids, and more importantly share how you handled your anger (and not just the times you handle it well, let them see that sometimes you make mistakes).  It is good for kids to see that mommies & daddies have these emotions, too.  And by sharing your thought process and the steps you took to handle your anger, this will teach them how to make good decisions.  For example, if you are driving in the car with your kids, and another car cuts you off, let your kids know how that made you a little angry.  Talk about your options to deal with this anger: let it go, tailgate, honk wildly, etc…  Ask them what God would want them to do.

Tips to bring this lesson home:

Memory Verse:  “A man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:20

      Use the memory verse like you would a ‘rule’ in your home.  If someone acts inappropriately on their anger this week, tell them the memory verse and let them know how to deal with anger in a way pleasing to God.

The book Creative Corrections, by Lisa Whelchel, emphasizes that God has rules for His children to follow—grown-ups and kids alike!  Instead of saying “because I said so” to explain your disciplining decision, we should answer with scripture.  Then our children will see that this is not only mom and dad’s rule, it’s God’s rule !

Try to use the scripture above often to let your child know that angry actions are not only against your rules, but it’s also against God’s rules.  Anytime this month that your child gets angry, talk to them about healthy ways to deal with anger, so their hearts can please God.

I-Made-God-Smile Jar: Set out a jar labeled “I made God smile.”  This week look for situations in which your child might be angry; for example: if they don’t get their way, if a toy gets ruined, if they mess up, etc.  Observe how your child reacts to the situation as well as how they handle any anger they might be feeling:  did they hit someone or did they go do another activity?   Did they throw a tantrum or sit down and talk to you about their feelings?  Etc.   Each time they handle their emotions in an appropriate way give them a nickel (or some other small reward like a jellybean) to put in their “I Made God Smile” jar.

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